3 ideas and a question: Listening habits

Avoiding bad listening habits and acting on good listening intentions

Image credit: Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Idea 1

Many people say they want to write a book, when what they really mean is that they want to have written a book. People often tell me that they want to be better listeners, but far fewer put in the effort to change their bad listening habits that get in the way. Listening deeply and attentively during disagreements is challenging. It's also so very learnable when we commit:

— 5 bad listening habits and how to break them​

Idea 2

One reason we lose sight of our good listening intentions is that our minds are distracted by a keen interest in formulating a story about what we're experiencing. Some researchers believe that the drive to explain the world is a fundamental human impulse, comparable to the drives of thirst and hunger.

— Princeton University psychologist Tania Lombrozo on Hidden Brain​

Idea 3

When I teach conflict resolution skills and habits, I advise participants not to leave the training and try out the new skills and approaches in the middle of their next argument. No one takes a single snowboarding lesson, then safely and gracefully makes it down the black diamond trails. Practice in low-stakes moments and build muscle memory first. The dinner table, an easygoing committee meeting, a cup of coffee with a colleague -- these are excellent places to practice better listening habits. Go deeper on habit change with this book; it's been at the top of bestseller lists worldwide for a reason:

— Atomic Habits by James Clear​

Question

What tiny listening habit will you cultivate on the path to being a masterful listener?