A way to identify a conflict's primary drivers
A relationship diagram takes a systems-thinking approach to problem-solving, helping you discern which elements interact with and influence each other.
One reason agreements and solutions fail is that they don’t sufficiently identify and address the root causes of the problem. Another is that they address behavioral elements of a conflict without addressing systemic elements that drive the behavior. The Relationship Diagram is an excellent tool for overcoming these problem-solving hurdles.
A Relationship Diagram, sometimes called a Network Diagram or an Interrelationship Digraph, helps identify cause-and-effect relationships between parts of a problem. With roots in the quality improvement trend of the 1980s, it shines as a tool for discerning which elements of a problem are the primary drivers and which are symptoms created by the primary drivers.
The Relationship Diagram takes a systems-thinking approach to problem-solving — thinking about something as a system with elements and interactions that influence each other.
In family and organizational systems, a conflict that appears to be interpersonal can be driven by systemic factors (reporting structure, house rules, formal and informal policies and procedures, etc.). Even if the interpersonal pieces of the conflict get addressed, parts of the system may continue to create friction unless those systemic elements also get attention.
Beware of system-driven conflict that’s masquerading as interpersonal conflict.
The Relationship Diagram is not a problem-solving tool. It’s a problem-understanding tool. By discerning which elements may be a problem’s primary drivers, we can better figure out how to address the problem’s root causes, which, in turn, help lead to more lasting solutions.
The basic process
You can use the Relationship Diagram exercise on your own to better understand a problem you’re facing, or you can use it with pairs or groups. Here are the basic steps for facilitating the exercise with others, followed by an example:
Begin by framing the problem you want to examine. Doing this step well has significant consequences for the success of the exercise. As John Dewey said, a problem well stated is a problem half solved.
Invite participants to identify elements they believe are involved in the problem. Take your time with this step. It helps to have some comfort with silence, as you give people a chance to think.
As each element is identified, write it on a flipchart or whiteboard, arranging the factors in a circle.
When the pair or group has finished identifying elements, ask, “Are there elements you haven’t said out loud yet?” This simple question can result in an essential element finally being identified for the group. Again, allow some time for people to decide whether or not to share something additional.
Once the list of elements seems complete, compare each to the others to identify which elements influence others. Draw an arrow from each element to other elements it influences. The arrow should always be drawn from the influencing element to the influenced element(s).
Sometimes, as you work, a new element comes up. That’s okay. Add it to the circle and work with it as you did with the others.
After each element has been examined, count the arrows from each element. The elements with the most outgoing arrows are likely to be the driving factors or root causes of the other elements. These primary drivers often benefit from the greatest scrutiny by the group as it attempts to mitigate the systemic factors influencing their conflict.
The same elements might yield different drivers in other similar scenarios, so don’t be complacent if you use this exercise repeatedly with similar groups.
An example
Over to you
Journal, conversation, or comment prompts:
Has your behavior ever been influenced by a family or organizational system?
How did that influence impact your behavior?
Think about a conflict you’ve faced or are facing. What systemic elements could be driving their behavior?
How can you uncover systemic elements in a conflict that appears to be interpersonal?
How could a tool like the Relationship Diagram inform your work?