On navigating choice points
How can we increase the chance that our better angels will guide our words and actions in the heat of the moment? [Bonus article]
Melanie, a former mediation student of mine, found herself in bumper-to-bumper traffic during afternoon drive time. She was waiting at a stoplight in the right lane of a two-lane road with one car ahead of her. When the light turned green, Melanie’s lane would take her right onto the interstate.
The light turned green, and the heavy traffic in the left lane surged ahead, but the right lane didn't budge. The car ahead of Melanie had now turned on its left directional, signaling a desire to move into the left lane. That car was preventing everyone in the right lane from getting on the interstate.
A horn honked. Then another. Then more. The light turned red again, then green again, and still, the car sat there, trying unsuccessfully to get into the left lane. More horns joined the cacophony.
The light turned red again. Frustrated, Melanie got out of her car.
When she told the story, Melanie said she intended to yell at the woman to get moving. But something happened on her way to the other driver's window.